Lackhead.org

Now, that answers a question I’ve always wanted to know! Why were dinosaurs so mean, and carnivorous and stuff? That’s right! It’s because Adam got it on with Eve. It makes so much sense now! And just so y’all know, crabs walk sideways because of my personal disregard for the chaste life. I know, I know, you’re saying to yourself, “but my dear Lackhead, crabs have been walking sideways long before you were born!” “Tut-tut,” I reply, “when you believe the world is only 6,000 years old funny things happen with time.”

The site that hosted this cartoon, Answers in Genesis, is really a marvelous site. I’ve spent too much time reading over their extensive pages on logic and reasoning, and having a jolly good laugh over it all. One of my favorite sections though, is this one:

Evolution cannot account for fractals. These shapes have existed since creation and cannot have evolved, since numbers cannot change—the number 7 will never be anything but 7. But fractals are perfectly consistent with biblical creation. The Christian understands that there are transcendent truths because the Bible states many of them. A biblical creationist expects to find beauty and order in the universe, not only in the physical universe, but in the abstract realm of mathematics as well. This order and beauty is possible because there is a logical God who has imparted order and beauty into His universe.

Since numbers can’t evolve, biological evolution is a fallacy. And I like the implication that beauty and order are the sole domain of a Christian God. But I digress. The point of all of this is that sex is bad, m’kay? It is the original and ultimate source of all suffering.

And you wonder why our society has a messed up relationship with sex.

-c

ps- I find it interesting to run across this site so shortly after having the privilege of hearing Cornel West speak here in Salt Lake for our University’s Martin Luther King celebration. That the same font gave rise to a mind like Dr. West’s also bares the fruit of strict dogma, intolerance and persecution, well, sometimes I find it hard to reconcile. Evidence, I suppose, that religion, like all other social constructs, is merely a tool that people may use for their own means; its use speaks volumes about the actor, and little in regards to its own nature.

pps- As an extra special bonus, here’s a great song for your enjoyment. Warning, it contains frequent and flippant use of the word “penis”, as does this parenthetical remark (penis penis penis penis penis).

Courtesy of Dr. Science, I have a a great new way of informing the world just how smart I am.

-c

Breathe a sigh of relief, my dear lackheaders, as I have a bit of information that should come as good news to us all. And in these dark times, anything that shows to me that the world is safer than I thought it was yesterday is good and welcome tidings indeed. So, after extensive research, I have found that there has been no recorded symptomatic case of rabies in any snake, spider, or shark. There you have it. One more thing you can cross off your “to worry about today” list.

Or is it? Just because we haven’t come across one of these beasties that are actually rabid and thirsting for your blood, doesn’t mean they aren’t already thirsting for your blood; they’re just not rabid about it. Yet. You never know what evil plans lurch in the fetid mind of Darth Cheney. So, breathe a little easier my friends, but stay vigilant.

Peace out.

-c

Aww, aint this lil’ guy just the cutest?!! This my friends, is a cuttlefish, a cousin of squids, octopuses, and other Cephalopods.

And what makes these little buggers so awesome? Well, besides having w-shaped pupils, eyes that work on polarization more than color, likely being the most intelligent invertebrate species, having blue-green blood that uses Hemocyanin instead of hemoglobin, producing ink called sepia that was the original sepia ink used in writing, and just being all-around the coolest creature ever, they are also the most amazing quick-changing artists ever.

The skin of these beasties contain tiny colored sacs that can be reshaped via muscle control. These colors can blend, even more so than the pixels on a TV/computer screen to form amazing colors and patterns, all very quickly. In addition, underneath all this is a layer that reflects blues and greens which can also add a metallic tint. And to top it all off, these guys can also change the polarization of the light reflecting off their skin, to add yet another dimension of variability to their appearance. This all happens in the blink of an eye, and is all housed in an invertebrate’s body, so shape changes too.

Nova recently did a special on them called Kings of Camouflage and they have some cool short videos online, and if you have some spare time, you can also watch the whole thing on Google Video.

There are more things in heaven and earth, my dear reader, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

-c

There have been precious few things in my life that I’ve ever been addicted to (sorry, but Oprah falls into obsession not addiction- at least that’s how it was explained to me by the judge). Chocolate has been my most primeval addiction, and as such is the most consistent and irresistible pull that I feel. A yen is an urge is an itch is a lust is a yearning is a craving, but none of those truly capture the physical need that I seem to have for (obscenely high-priced) chocolate.

Today, after a bit of reflection on my current gustatory habits, I decided that I should do a bit napkin math and see just what risks I am taking by being a slave to the cacao gods:

• One ounce of milk chocolate has about 6mg of caffeine (i-before-e!) and about 44mg of theobromine. Baking chocolate has higher levels of both, running around 35mg of caffeine and 392mg of theobromine.
• The LD50 of theobromine in humans is approximately 1g per kilo of body weight, and caffeine is about 175mg per kilo.
• I personally weight about 68 kilograms, so my LD50 levels are about 68kg * 1g/kg = 68g of theobromine or about 68kg * 0.175g/kg = 12g of caffeine.
• Given that most of the chocolate I eat is up in the 70% chocolate solids content, and I want a little saftey margin, I’ll just go ahead and use the baking chocolate numbers to find out that I would need to consume to reach my LD50 level:
  • theobromine: 68g * 1oz/.392g = 173.5oz = 10.8lb
  
  
  • caffeine: 12g * 1oz/.035g = 342.9oz = 21.4lb

So, basically this says that the theobromine is by far more toxic that caffeine when it comes to chocolate consumption, and that I’d have to eat almost 11 pounds of baking chocolate in order to be in the realm of a 50% chance of lethality. Most of the bars I buy are 8oz, so that’s about 22 bars.

Phew. Close one today. Next time I’ll play it safe and keep the number down in the teens.

-c