Lackhead.org

Now, that answers a question I’ve always wanted to know! Why were dinosaurs so mean, and carnivorous and stuff? That’s right! It’s because Adam got it on with Eve. It makes so much sense now! And just so y’all know, crabs walk sideways because of my personal disregard for the chaste life. I know, I know, you’re saying to yourself, “but my dear Lackhead, crabs have been walking sideways long before you were born!” “Tut-tut,” I reply, “when you believe the world is only 6,000 years old funny things happen with time.”

The site that hosted this cartoon, Answers in Genesis, is really a marvelous site. I’ve spent too much time reading over their extensive pages on logic and reasoning, and having a jolly good laugh over it all. One of my favorite sections though, is this one:

Evolution cannot account for fractals. These shapes have existed since creation and cannot have evolved, since numbers cannot change—the number 7 will never be anything but 7. But fractals are perfectly consistent with biblical creation. The Christian understands that there are transcendent truths because the Bible states many of them. A biblical creationist expects to find beauty and order in the universe, not only in the physical universe, but in the abstract realm of mathematics as well. This order and beauty is possible because there is a logical God who has imparted order and beauty into His universe.

Since numbers can’t evolve, biological evolution is a fallacy. And I like the implication that beauty and order are the sole domain of a Christian God. But I digress. The point of all of this is that sex is bad, m’kay? It is the original and ultimate source of all suffering.

And you wonder why our society has a messed up relationship with sex.

-c

ps- I find it interesting to run across this site so shortly after having the privilege of hearing Cornel West speak here in Salt Lake for our University’s Martin Luther King celebration. That the same font gave rise to a mind like Dr. West’s also bares the fruit of strict dogma, intolerance and persecution, well, sometimes I find it hard to reconcile. Evidence, I suppose, that religion, like all other social constructs, is merely a tool that people may use for their own means; its use speaks volumes about the actor, and little in regards to its own nature.

pps- As an extra special bonus, here’s a great song for your enjoyment. Warning, it contains frequent and flippant use of the word “penis”, as does this parenthetical remark (penis penis penis penis penis).

Well now. I was going to create a new category “things I should have thought about years ago and made a fortune off of but didn’t because I’m lazy and don’t have a mind for business”, but I figured that would be too long and man, if I posted everything that could fit into that category I’d have to quit my day job! (Hmmm, not a bad idea….Dooce did it, why can’t I?)

Anyway, my cognitive swirlings from my last post on the word protean led me back one of my favoritest sites, The Midwest Teen Sex Show. This site was created by a couple of people, one of whom describes herself as a former expert practitioner of teen promiscuity, who lives out her days as a Midwestern mother of three. Anyway, I applaud what they are doing, and when I traipsed over their site this morning I found this gem:

Yes, it is for sale. Just click on the image above to choose Abstinence (The Condom), or visit their site at http://abstinencethecondom.com.

-c

For today’s word, boys and girls, let’s start at the very beginning, a very good place to start. Protean is derived from the greek protos, which means “first” (this also is how the word protein is derived; proteins were first posited as a theoretical basis of all life). The Greeks also used this to form the name of Proteus, one of Poseidon’s right-hand men back in the days. Proteus had the ability to change shape to avoid capture, which has led to the common English meaning today:

protean

1. Exhibiting considerable variety or diversity
2. Readily assuming different forms or characters; extremely variable

I find the etymology of protein to be very interesting, since so much of their function derives from their topological mutability. But I digress. The phrase that captured my attention this morning was “voluptuously protean”, which I think is just a lovely turn of the tongue. I found it in an article about sex in today’s permissive and open society. What really struck me though was how the article ended up:

There is another factor, though. I think the process of sexual permissiveness, the adoption of sex as a supposedly harmless game, has been vastly intensified by the internet in recent years.

The internet introduces us to the sexual thoughts of others, and the sexual variety and fervency of the human subconscious, in a wholly new way. When it comes to sex, the net is voluptuously protean. If you want to find images of naked Russian girls in mud baths, there they are on the net. Whatever you want, whatever you think it possible to conceive of is on the net. And because it is there it somehow seems, well, more licit, more understandable, more mainstream.

This versatile nature of the net is especially dangerous, because it can reveal to anyone the multifarious kinks in their own brain.

It is good that people feel less inhibited about sex. But sex isn’t just about orgasms. It ain’t just about fun. For all their faults, our forefathers knew something about sex that we seem to have forgotten.

Sex is not a computer game. It is not a party trick. It is not tennis with bells on. The sexual urge comes from the most primitive and aggressive parts of the human brain. It is certainly not something you should mix carelessly with disinhibitors such as drink and drugs.

Put it another way. Sex can drive us to states of bliss, but it also has a cruel and savage aspect. And when we take it too far then sex can destroy lives.

This stirs right into thoughts that have been swirling around in my own head, both as an man rapidly approaching middle-age, dealing with living in an age inherited by kids (who just won’t keep off my damn lawn!), and as a father of a kid growing up in a world where the ills of both Bush’s abstinence dogma, and the pervasive use of sex as a marketing tool, ripen and fester.

How does one deal with a world bent on repressing and demonizing something that is essentially a private matter? One the one hand you want to open the doors and turn on the lights to cast out the demons the right-wing prudes conjure up, to free society of the lodestones that sexual oppression hands us, but on the other hand you want to save from having sex lose its intimacy and intensely personal meaning via every media outlet trying to capture our attention. In practice, finding one’s own balance isn’t too difficult I suppose, it is part of growing up, but it does seem like our society as a whole needs to take a class in sex education. And not just in the physical aspects of it (pregnancy, disease, etc), but in the emotional aspects as well, so that our collective conscious can find a sense of propriety somewhere between taboo and the banal.

Sex and society; a protean dilemma indeed.

-c

Caught your attention, didn’t I? I’m not just trying to be shocking or funny, but penises and their female counterparts are important. Or more apropos to this post, the fear of even talking about sex and genitalia is important.

Why bring this up, you ask? Well, my son came home from school today, and whilst chatting about how his day went, he mentioned that his class had a presentation on AIDS. Two things shocked me about what he had to say:

1. At no time did they distinguish between HIV and AIDS (this is forgivable if not lamentable)
2. At no time did they mention the word condom; they described only two methods to avoid getting infected with HIV: do not become “blood brothers” with someone, where you cut yourself and share blood with a friend, and don’t engage in risky behaviors.

Ok, so maybe it is me, but if you are going to talk about HIV/AIDS and you can’t mention the words “condom” or “sex” then perhaps someone else should be doing your job. And why won’t they use those words? Because our country is still scared of sex. As a group, we have devolved into a bunch of puritanical pukes that would rather our children be uninformed than frankly talk to them about what a condom is and what it is used for. Blood brothers?? My God, that’s so 50’s– I am so sure it is a big contributer to the spread of disease in today’s youth. And why is sex simply glossed over and dismissed as risky behavior? Sure, you can say there is risk involved but then riding a bike is risky too. But who stops their kid as they head out for a ride to say, “Johnny, please think about what you are doing…you’re about to engage in risky behavior!!” No, you tell them to put a helmet on, show them how to be aware of traffic and other ways of being be safe, and tell them to be careful. But of course, we can’t do that when it comes to sex because sex is dirty and if we just pretend it doesn’t exist maybe our kids won’t find out about it.

Look, I could really get going on this rant, not just on the fear of sex and bodies, but also on the role of teachers/schools in kid’s upbringing, etc, and it all just devolves down to the ubiquitous George Bush Is Destroying America rant. So I’ll just stop here and simply ask that you don’t let fear of having a frank conversation with your kids prevent you from teaching them how to be safe. Please, it is just a word; HIV is real.

CDC Factsheet on HIV/AIDS
AIDSInfo at NIH
Planned Parenthood’s page on HIV/AIDS

-c

ps- Vagina. There. I said it.

pps- I am so going to get kicked out of Utah.