Nipples of Venus, take #1

September 23rd, 2007 lackhead Posted in Stuff I Ingest 2 Comments »

Nipples Of Venus For my latest act of culinary craziness, ladies and gentlemen, I decided to delve into something a bit over my head. But how could anyone refuse the allure of Nipples Of Venus? By the title alone we’re all salaciously salivating to savor the silky smooth sweetness, I’m sure. I first heard of these in the movie Amadeus, but didn’t get to actually taste one until years later, when traipsing with friends in Eugene to Sweet Life Patisserie, and what I found was, although different than what I had expected, still was powerful enough to produce a 3-day coma of pleasure. What was described in the movie was all chestnutty with a white body and a dark nipple on top, but what I found was chocolate goodness through and through. This is what prompted me to delve into making chocolates for the first time, and, well, here’s what happened:

First, the recipe. The basic idea is to encapsulate chocolate ganache in a chocolate shell, and then nipplize it with a little dab of white chocolate on top. Simple enough! Making a chocolate ganache is simple enough- I heated 1lb of dark chocolate over a double boiler, and when it was all melted, I added 2cps of lukewarm soy milk and a bit of vanilla. I heated slowly for a little while longer and cooled. Not thick enough. Reheat, recool, still not thick enough. I eventually got things reduced to the consistency that I wanted, but I think doing this in multiple reheats damaged the chocolate a bit, as the oils started to separate on the last step. Upon reflection, I think since I am using soy milk instead of heavy cream, I would start with the soy milk in the double boiler, reduce that and then add the vanilla and chocolate, and heat it until it is the right consistency, which is actually quite firm when still hot. Anyway, I eventually cooled it off enough to put in a pastry bag to pipe out onto a cookie sheet. This made nice little lumps of tastiness, which I put in the fridge to cool.

Second was the coating. For this I took some more straight-up chocolate and heated it in the trusty double boiler. When totally liquid I removed it from the heat and put the stainless steel bowl on a heating pad on the counter, to keep things warm. Now, I took out the lumps in the fridge, and due to the way they settled they made dark little hemispheres of chocolate. So, I stuck two back-to-back to make a full sphere, rolled it in my hands a bit to make it smooth, and popped them back in the fridge to keep them cool while I worked on the rest. Eventually I had 20 or so chilled balls of ganache, and I still had a cool-but-liquid bowl of chocolate on the heating pad. I then pulled balls out of the fridge one by one, tossed them in the liquid chocolate, and then placed them back on the cookie sheet, and back in the fridge.

The final touch was the nipple on top, which was as simple as heating some white chocolate in the double boiler again, and then using a small (#3) tip in the pastry bag to dab on top. DONE. Consume at a rapid pace.

So, this having been my first attempt, there are a few things that I would do differently next time:

  • Ganache- start with the soy milk, reduce that a bit before adding the chocolate and make sure you reduce it enough before pulling it off the heat.
  • Coating- I need to figure out how to do this better. First off, they aren’t smooth. Second, the coating isn’t thick enough. Thirdly, they melt in your hand. I need to do some web research to figure out if there is something you put in the chocolate to make it set up firmer, and maybe play with some other techniques to get it to set up more smoothly.

And honestly, that’s about it. They taste wonderful. Of course, I have consumed enough chocolate this afternoon just in the process of making these bad boys (girls?) to get me worrying about theobromine again, so it will be a while before I get these all finished off and my craving for chocolates humming again. In the meantime, I have a kitchen to clean. I swear I got chocolate on every single piece of kitchen gear I own (how did my garlic press get chocolate in it?), plus the walls, fridge, cabinets, floor, and even Ethan.

Over and out.

-c

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Post Punk Kitchen

May 29th, 2007 lackhead Posted in Stuff I Ingest No Comments »

Ethiopian seitan with peppers A friend recently turned me onto the tastiness of the Post Punk Kitchen, which is the creation of Isa Moskowitz, a Brooklyn punkstress turned chef who has her own access vegan cooking show! I got a chance to quickly peruse her book Vegan Cupcakes Take Over The World, and currently have Vegan With A Vengence on hold for me down at the King’s English (buy local! Yay!). The recipes sound and look awesome and I can’t wait to try out some new stuff. I’ve been managing a baked item or two each weekend, and a new dish a week, but new inspiration is always a good thing. Besides, there is, hmmmm, how to say it, a certain panache about her ganache, if you know what I mean, which makes it all the more fun. I hope to have a few more postings about killer recipes, and once I get a working camera again, photos of STUFF I INGEST! (this is a new category here at lackhead.org….more yay!).

In the meantime though, you’ll have to get by just listening to their theme song.

-c

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What, me worry?

April 20th, 2007 lackhead Posted in Science/Nature, Stuff I Ingest, Wonderfulness 2 Comments »

Chocolate lover There have been precious few things in my life that I’ve ever been addicted to (sorry, but Oprah falls into obsession not addiction- at least that’s how it was explained to me by the judge). Chocolate has been my most primeval addiction, and as such is the most consistent and irresistible pull that I feel. A yen is an urge is an itch is a lust is a yearning is a craving, but none of those truly capture the physical need that I seem to have for (obscenely high-priced) chocolate.

Today, after a bit of reflection on my current gustatory habits, I decided that I should do a bit napkin math and see just what risks I am taking by being a slave to the cacao gods:

  • One ounce of milk chocolate has about 6mg of caffeine (i-before-e!) and about 44mg of theobromine. Baking chocolate has higher levels of both, running around 35mg of caffeine and 392mg of theobromine.
  • The LD50 of theobromine in humans is approximately 1g per kilo of body weight, and caffeine is about 175mg per kilo.
  • I personally weight about 68 kilograms, so my LD50 levels are about 68kg * 1g/kg = 68g of theobromine or about 68kg * 0.175g/kg = 12g of caffeine.
  • Given that most of the chocolate I eat is up in the 70% chocolate solids content, and I want a little saftey margin, I’ll just go ahead and use the baking chocolate numbers to find out that I would need to consume to reach my LD50 level:
    • theobromine: 68g * 1oz/.392g = 173.5oz = 10.8lb

    • caffeine: 12g * 1oz/.035g = 342.9oz = 21.4lb

So, basically this says that the theobromine is by far more toxic that caffeine when it comes to chocolate consumption, and that I’d have to eat almost 11 pounds of baking chocolate in order to be in the realm of a 50% chance of lethality. Most of the bars I buy are 8oz, so that’s about 22 bars.

Phew. Close one today. Next time I’ll play it safe and keep the number down in the teens.

-c

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Cherry-oatmeal muffins

April 8th, 2007 lackhead Posted in Stuff I Ingest 3 Comments »

Cherry-oat muffins

Ah, this morning I made some glorious cherry-oatmeal muffins, and I thought I’d share. If you want to eat one, stop by my house sometime before tomorrow afternoon (I predict they will be gone by then). Or, make them yourself:

Ingredients:

  • 1 cp flour (whole wheat pastry flour is the bomb)
  • 1 cp oats (I use quick oats in bulk from Wild Oats)
  • 3 tsp Egg Replacer
  • 1 ½ tsp baking powder
  • ½ tsp baking soda
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 cp soy milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • 4 Tb margarine (melted)
  • 2 Tb maple syrup
  • 1 cup frozen cherries

Directions:
This is a standard muffin recipe. First off, get your soymilk to room temperature (important so that the butter does not congeal when you mix it in) and preheat the oven to 375. Mix all your drys together, and all your wets separately. Note that this uses my standard egg-replacer trick- use maple syrup as the liquid and don’t bother whisking them beforehand, just put drys with drys, wets with wets. When mixing the wets into the drys, try to stir as little as possible- only enough to get the batter mixed. Add in the cherries.

silicone muffin panNow, I’ve been using a silicone muffin pan ever since my birthday (thanks Larissa!) and it rocks the freakin’ house. No buttering/greasing tins, cleaning is a snap, and the muffins come out perfectly! I highly recommend picking up one of these if you get a chance. Anyway, bake for about 20 minutes or so, cool for a few minutes before popping them out of the pan, and then eat! Yum!

-c

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